Anti-Bullying

Many children and young people experience school bullying and bullying outside of school but you don't have to put up with it. Almost half of all children and young people say that they've been bullied at some point during their time at school. 

What is bullying?

Bullying can take many forms: from teasing and spreading rumours, to pushing someone around and causing physical harm. It often happens in front of other people. It includes name calling, mocking, kicking, taking belongings, writing or drawing offensive graffiti, messing around with people’s belongings, gossiping, excluding people from groups, and threatening others.

Why are people bullied?

Children and young people are bullied for all sorts of reasons. It can be due to their race, their religion, their appearance, their sexual orientation, because they have a disability or because of their home circumstances. 

Cyberbullying is increasingly common both inside and outside school. Cyberbullying is any form of bullying that involves the use of mobile phones or the internet. 

The effects of bullying

Bullying makes the lives of its victims miserable. It undermines their confidence and destroys their sense of security. Bullying can cause sadness, loneliness, low self-esteem, fear, anxiety, and poor concentration, and lead to self-harm, depression, suicidal thoughts and, in some cases, suicide. Bullying can also affect children and young people's attendance and progress at school.

Getting teenagers to talk openly about what's bothering them can be hard. Follow these tips to help get them talking to you about their worries.

1. Ask, don’t judge

2. Ask, don’t assume or accuse

3. Be clear you want to help

4. Be honest yourself

5. Help them think for themselves

6. Don’t criticise everything

7. If they get angry, try not to react

8. Make them feel safe

Knowing or suspecting that your child is being bullied can be very upsetting, but there are many things you can do to resolve the problem. Bullying is one of the biggest concerns for parents. If you find out or suspect that your child is being bullied, there are things you can do to resolve the problem. 

How to help your child if they are being bullied

If a child tells you they’re being bullied, the first thing to do is listen. The NSPCC advises you to suggest to your child that they keep a diary of bullying incidents. It will help to have concrete facts to show the school. The next step is to talk to the school 

How do you know if your child is being bullied?

Sometimes children don’t talk to their parents or carers because they don’t want to upset them, or they think it will make the problem worse. However, if you suspect that your child is being bullied, there are signs to look out for. These include:

Coming home with damaged or missing clothes, without money they should have, or with scratches and bruises.

Having trouble with homework for no apparent reason.

Using a different route between home and school.

Feeling irritable, easily upset or particularly emotional.

Talking to the school about bullying

To stop the bullying, it's essential for you or your child, or both of you, to talk to the school. Think about who would be the best person to approach first. Discuss this with your child because there may be a particular teacher your child feels more comfortable with. 

It's worth asking about any school schemes to tackle bullying, such as peer mentoring where certain children are trained to listen and help with problems. You could ask to see the school’s anti-bullying policy, which every school has to have by law. This will enable you to see how the school plans to prevent and tackle bullying.

Who can help with bullying?

All the organisations listed below provide support and information to parents.

Family Lives

Bullying UK

Kidscape

NSPCC

Childnet International

Contact a Family

Cyberbullying is the use of technology such as mobile phones and the internet to bully other people. Coping with cyberbullying can be difficult because it can happen at any time of the day.

What is cyberbullying?

Emailing or texting threatening or nasty messages to people.

Posting an embarrassing or humiliating video of someone on a video-hosting site such as YouTube.

Harassing someone by repeatedly sending texts or instant messages in a chat room.

Setting up profiles on social networking sites, such as Facebook, to make fun of someone.

'Happy slapping', which is when people use their mobiles to film and share videos of physical attacks.

Posting or forwarding someone else's personal or private information or images without their permission.

Sending viruses that can damage another person’s computer.

Making abusive comments about another user on a gaming site.

How to respond to cyberbullying

Do

Talk to someone you trust. This could be a teacher, parent, carer or friend. Schools have a responsibility to ensure that students aren’t bullied, and they can take action even if the bullying is happening outside school. 

Report the bullying to the internet service provider if the bullying happened online. Ask a parent or teacher for help.

Report the bullying to your mobile phone provider if you’ve received bullying texts or calls on your mobile. You may even have to change your number if you're repeatedly bullied through your phone.

Block instant messages and emails. Ask a parent or teacher for help. 

Report serious bullying, such as physical or sexual threats, to the police.

Don't

Don’t delete the upsetting emails or messages. Keep the evidence. This will help to identify the bully if the bullying is anonymous. Even people who use a false name or email can be traced.

Don’t reply. This is what the bully wants, and it might make things worse.

How to avoid being cyberbullied

The best way to avoid being cyberbullied is to use the internet and mobile phones carefully.

Don’t give out personal details, such as your phone number or address, in a chat room.

Think carefully before posting photos or videos of you or your friends.

Only give your mobile number to close friends.

Protect passwords, and never give your friends access to your accounts.

Don’t forward nasty emails.

Learn how to block instant messages or use mail filters to block emails.