Personal experience on MISCARRIAGE

Well i found out i was pregnant on Valentines Day 14th Feb 2011. We were so happy and excited to know that my partner was going to have his first baby (my second baby, my first is not his). He had been through a lot in his life and this really meant a lot to him. By my dates i should of been around 8 weeks pregnant. We went to the doctors to confirm it a few days after finding out,and then it all felt so real. We started telling close family and friends on each day that passed. On the 27th Feb our world started to fall apart but we didn't know that at that point. On 27th Feb i went to the toilet and when i wiped there was a bit of bright red blood there, didn't really think anything of it because it was only a little bit so i assumed it was just a bit of spotting. Later on that night i started to get a really bad back and belly ache, so then i started to think something was up. My partner phoned NHS and they said to keep an eye over night if the bleeding gets heavier then go straight to hospital but then advised if it was a miscarriage then there is nothing much they can do. Went to the toilet again and it was a bit more blood but still only light still thinking everything would be ok we went to bed. Next morning 28th Feb my bleeding got a little bit more so my partner insisted that we just went to the hospital. In A+E they put us in a little room told me to go wee in a pot, did test which indicated i was pregnant, told me again they are going to try book me in for a scan. We waited for about half an hour for them to come back to us to say whether we could have a scan or not. They came back eventually and said that i can have a scan to rule out ectopic, my mind started to panic at that point i did not know what was going on had never experienced anything like this before. Before going for a scan they took us up to a ward and a doctor told me to undress and lie on bed, at this point i could not stop crying the doctor was checking me inside it was awful. He said that he can see blood but my cervix was still closed which was a good sign. At this point i really started to feel better again because of what he said. We went and sat in the waiting room for the scan and it was not nice to be sat there with people pregnant with their bumps and stuff when i was going through this tough day, Went in for a scan the lady couldn't see nothing so had to do an internal one, again i had to take my trousers off. She did the internal and all that was on the screen was a sac with something so tiny in there. She said i was either 5 weeks pregnant or everything stopped growing at that point. I started to think that maybe i was only 5 weeks pregnant, by the time we got home the bleeding got a bit heavier but still i thought everything would be OK. Over the next week my bleeding got a lot heavier and i started losing clots, but was still being in denial. I lost quite a big clot which my mum said that would of been the sac. A few days before i went for another scan my bleeding had stopped, so i decided to do a pregnancy test. NEGATIVE. All day i just felt numb then at night i just broke down which resulted in my partner breaking down as well. I felt so torn up inside and i felt like i had let him down. The next few days are a blur but we went for other scan that confirmed that everything had gone. I felt worse that i was at home thinking that everything would be OK. Everyone was telling me i was miscarrying but i just would not believe them :-(. For weeks it was so hard to deal with, but in time it does get easier. I will never stop thinking about what could of been but i have to stay strong for my own sake.